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This content was originally collated and submitted to Warner Brothers by BBI Mojo, who created and produced the special features for the Buckaroo Banzai Special Edition DVD, and it was suspiciously missing from the DVD. Rumors that the text contains hidden code that could be used to locate Lord John Whorfin remains unsubstantiated. All of the DVD material was written by W.D. Richter and Earl Mac Rauch. All of the DVD menus and bios were also written by Earl Mac Rauch. You can purchase the Buckaroo Banzai DVD or the Buckaroo Banzai Blu-ray on Amazon.

THE BUCKAROO BANZAI BOOK OF LITTLE MORALS

This content was eventually published on the Banzai Institute website, where there is additional content.


Buckaroo Banzai was the first man to travel through solid matter. He never would have succeeded in doing this, if he had not learned when he was a boy to do three things. He learned to observe closely what was going on about him so that he saw which others often did not notice at all. He also learned to think about what he observed, and to find out the causes. The third thing he learned was to use tools skillfully.

Buckaroo was not a strong boy, and he could not play much with the other boys. So his mother gave him a set of tools, and he played and worked with them, until he could use them handily and make a great many things. This was his manual training, and he found it very useful when he became a man, and especially when he was making his OSCILLATION OVERTHRUSTER.

He was always a close observer, and even when a little boy was watching and watching to see what he could find out, especially in nature. This was his nature study.

One day Buckaroo was visiting the house of a taikomochi, an expert player of drum, engaged by Buckaroo's father to teach him in the ways of that instrument. (The young musical prodigy had already mastered the koto [harp], samisen [banjo], gekkin [guitar] and nigenkin [a two stringed musical instrument]). There was a fish bowl on a table, and Buckaroo watched it for a long time. His teacher thought he was idle and at length said to him: "I never saw such an idle boy as you are. Beat the drum or do something useful. For the last hour you have not spoken one word, but you have been watching how the fish swim in the bowl when the vibration of the drum causes the water to jiggle. Are you not ashamed of spending your time in that way?"

But Buckaroo was not idle. He was observing, and when he became a great man and came to make the OSCILLATION OVERTHRUSTER, his manual training and his nature study he found were among his best friends.

On another occasion the same taikomochi was horrified upon seeing his prodigal pupil taking his prized fish out of their water vessel one by one and placing them on the cover of the latter. This proceeding aroused indignation and he inquired the reason, saying: "Why do you take the fishes out of their element? None of them are dead!" Placing the fish back in the water vessel, the young Buckaroo blandly replied, "The fish seemed quite tired, so I gave them a rest by making them lie down on this cover." It is said that the taikomochi burst into laughter, so struck with the boy's simplicity that he became more attached to him than ever after this event.

A sly old Zen master, who was very proud of his cunning, one day met a new pupil, Buckaroo Banzai who was already a boy professor of philosophy at the Imperial University.

"How do you do, master?" said Buckaroo.

"Very well," replied the old man. "Come now, young Banzai, it is said you are very quickwitted. Tell me, I pray you, how many tricks you know for escaping the heartless ronin in these parts."

"Oh, I know but one," answered Buckaroo, "and that is to scramble up a tree as fast as I can."

"Is that all?" said the master. "Why, I know at least a hundred. How I pity your ignorance!"

Just then they heard the thunder of horses ridden by cutthroats.

"Goodby," said Buckaroo, and running up a tree, he hid in the branches, where he could see all that was happening without being seen.

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This page was last updated on May 25th, 2020.
Maintained by Sean Murphy [figment@figmentfly.com]